It sort of feels like I'm talking to an empty room so there isn't much impetus to write here. I had hoped -- naively -- that people would find the site, resonate with my past and a dialogue would begin. Hasn't happened. I still want to write here, but it sort of feels like talking to myself....
Things are slowly getting better. I have more success but still struggle with automatic defenses. Questioning everything you do can be exhausting, so I only question my behavior when I have the energy to do something about it.
What I struggle with the most is that I'm just not good at developing relationships; never learned as a child and it is something that isn't easy to learn as an adult. Am slowly getting better but it, as all the rest of this, will take time.
Just wanted to let you know that I read through your posts. I'm looking for answers myself, I was bullied through my entire childhood and I'm trying to see if that's the cause of some serious problems with the way I work and how I deal with people and relationships.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see you allow anonymous comments, this is a topic where that helps.
I may or may not be back, but I just wanted to say you're not alone here. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Thanks for taking the time to comment; my first comment! If you feel you have PTSD, retraining the hippocampus is well worth doing. Babette Rothschild's "8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery" is very helpful in determining IF you have PTSD and gives you some things you can do to begin healing. Whatever you find on your journey, I pray that you will find healing and peace.
DeleteThanks for letting me know!
ReplyDelete