It sort of feels like I'm talking to an empty room so there isn't much impetus to write here. I had hoped -- naively -- that people would find the site, resonate with my past and a dialogue would begin. Hasn't happened. I still want to write here, but it sort of feels like talking to myself....
Things are slowly getting better. I have more success but still struggle with automatic defenses. Questioning everything you do can be exhausting, so I only question my behavior when I have the energy to do something about it.
What I struggle with the most is that I'm just not good at developing relationships; never learned as a child and it is something that isn't easy to learn as an adult. Am slowly getting better but it, as all the rest of this, will take time.
