I was sick over the holidays and am still trying to dig out from the mess that caused, both internally and externally. It is like I'm stuck and can't get anywhere.
Part of the problem is I'm not trying very hard. Part of me is tired of seeing that I screw up left and right and just wants to go back to being numb and hyper alert.
Another part is horrified at going back and wants to go forward.
It's a tug of war where neither side can get traction. So I vegetate between progress and regression, waiting for SOMETHING to tip the scale. I need more support than I have and am not quite sure how to get it or what it would look like.
I just know that I need to work harder at this and am not having much luck doing so.
