What PTSD Feels Like and What Is Happening

When people hear PTSD, many think of soldiers who have returned from war.  Some random loud noise causes them to suddenly act like they are back in the war, fighting for their lives.  They can't distinguish the past from the present, everything is a confusing blur.

For THIS bullied adult, that isn't far from the truth.  When I get into a situation that feels like any one of my bullying experiences, my emotions feel the same way I felt in 4th grade.  There isn't a lot of visual involvement or auditory (your mileage may vary), but the emotions are the same and I cannot convince myself that this is different no matter how hard I try.

There is a really good reason for this: my instincts, those primal fight or flight responses, have mis-fired.  I'm no expert on this by ANY means; I'm just repeating what I learned from the "8 Keys..." book.  When I read about the amygdala and the hippocampus, I knew I had found the reason that I responded the way I did: my brain never got the message that each bullying episode ended.  In brief, the hippocampus stores the facts of an event: who, what, where, why, when.  The amygdala stores what you felt about the event.  In instances of extreme trauma, the hippocampus can malfunction and neglect to store the fact that an event has ended.  I don't want to violate copyright, so go to Amazon, "Look Inside" and search for "amygdala" and read about it on page 30 and following.

To make matters worse, each time the hippocampus informs us that we are back in that situation and we are flooded with the emotions from the amydala, the hippocampus once again fails to record that the even is over because of the high levels of stress.  So those who were severely bullied over a long period of time have a whole train of misery, none of which has been ended.

Is there a way out of this? You betcha.  Go read Kelle Hampton's post on how she handled Lainey's second week of kindergarten.  She didn't minimize her fear, she didn't try to sugar coat it, she told Lainey that she'd get through it and it would probably be hard for a while and she would be there for her.  Her outline is brilliant: Life is Hard.  You have to go through it. You learn.  You grow.

So where is the similarity between kindergarten and PTSD?  Well, how do you think you reprogram the hippocampus to know that the event is over?  You tell yourself that it is over, write that it is over, live that it is over, tell anyone willing to listen that it is over.   Only problem is that the longer it has gone on, the harder it is to reprogram.

But how much nicer to have a loving mother tell you that, to help you through it.  I'd be willing to bet that even if Kelle's daughters are bullied, that PTSD won't have a chance with them because Kelle will be there through the whole thing, comforting, counseling and confirming that it is over.  And anyone who needs to be confronted about the situation will be confronted and it will get RESOLVED.  God bless Kelle and all mothers like her who don't tell their kids not to be sad, but are simply with them in their pain, providing comfort and support instead of denial.